Tyrone: "Never -- but never -- come when your name is called. In fact, the moment you hear your name, compress your body into the size of an olive, become as still and invisible as a salesperson at Bloomingdale's, and go back to sleep."

Cleo: "...then my daddy got to the check-in desk and announced in a loud stentorian voice that his stupid cat was constipated. Hey, buddy, could you say it a little louder? I don't think the folks in Ames, Iowa, heard you."

More than treatises on the feline and human condition, this is also a love story. Cleo and Tyrone often dramatically -- ok, melodramatically -- compare themselves to Romeo and Juliet, blaming their evil owners for keeping them apart.

Cleo and Tyrone can each be vain, self-centered and manipulative, but somehow, in spite of all their scheming ways, they still manage to wrap their furry little paws around your heart and hold on for a lifetime.