eBooks - Biographies - Travelers & Explorers - LAURIE NOTARO - I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies)
I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) eBooks
by LAURIE NOTARO
|
Platforms
Windows Vista / XP / 2000, Mac OS X, Sony Reader Features
|
Availability:
Download Now Price: $12.95
|
|
Platforms
Windows PC, Windows Mobile 5.0-6.0, Pocket PC 2003 Features
|
Availability:
Download Now Price: $12.95
|
|
Platforms
Windows PC, Palm, Windows Mobile, Pocket PC, Symbian OS, Blackberry, iLiad, and more. Features
|
Availability:
Download Now Price: $9.95
|
|
Platforms
Palm, Windows Mobile, Pocket PC, Windows PC, Mac, iPhone/iPod Touch Features
|
Availability:
Download Now Price: $12.95
|
I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) Summary
|
Gun to the Head I can't believe it," my mother said from her end of the phone, "I simply can't believe it. First you got married, and now this. Who would have thought a year ago that I would be hearing news like this!" "I know!" I exclaimed from my end of the phone. "I'll get to go shopping for new clothes and everything!" "It's a big thing," my mother added. "It will change your whole life, you know." "I know," I said happily. "But I think it's time. That clock was ticking, and it was just time I did something about it." "You're sure this is what you want?" my mother asked. "It's too late to turn back now, isn't it?" I laughed. "I took the test, got a little pee on my hand, and everything says we're good to go." "I can't wait to tell my friends!" my mother gushed. "Well, maybe that's not such a good idea just yet," I suggested. "Maybe we should see if it sticks first. But you can tell Dad and the rest of the family." "He's going to be so happy to find out that you're going to have"--my mother paused, I believe to wipe a tear of elation from her eye--"a job!" A job. I really couldn't believe it either. A job. After I had successfully passed the drug screening test (simply and vaguely put, I was a freelance writer with a mortgage payment and a husband in college who barely had enough money for a generic box of macaroni and cheese, let alone a hit of X just so I could have a good excuse to wear a Dr. Seuss hat), the newspaper at which I had been a freelance columnist also offered me a job as a columnist for the newspaper's website--a full-time gig. I could hardly pass the offer up; it was a good salary, came with health insurance, my potential boss seemed cool, and after I discovered that the 401(k) was not an annual marathon that every employee was required to participate in, I nodded and then we shook on it. In all honesty, it was a relief... |
|
|
|
Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she's ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious. Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now-miraculously-employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she's dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen ("Three Thousand Faces of Eve") before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie's newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there's a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend. I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Laurie Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term "meltdowns" (she considers them "Opportunities to Enlighten") put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess. |
|
|
eBooks - Titles - Authors - Biographies - Travelers & Explorers - LAURIE NOTARO - I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies)