How do you help a friend who explodes into panic attacks?

What do you say when a depressed family member bursts into tears?

How do you protect yourself when a stranger blows up in your face?

Too often, our choices make matters worse. But it isn't our fault. All that we feel, and much of what we hear directs us to defend the fearful, comfort the sad, and talk sense to the angry, regardless of the utter futility of these well-meaning actions.

Moment to moment, people with mental disorders stand at the crossroads between getting better and getting worse. For disorders to heal, medicine, psychotherapy, the encouragement of friends, and the kindness of strangers must all point explosive people toward a single direction.

• People with anxiety disorders must turn and face their fear rather than running away
• Depressed people cannot wait to feel better to do the things that will make them feel better
• Angry people have to recognize that anger is something they do, not a reaction to what is done to them

Reaching these goals sometimes requires stunning feats of mind over matter. In How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People, Dr. Bernstein demonstrates, step by step, how to do them.