To: Human Resources
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: My Tardiness

The primary condition from which I am suffering is that I'm a twenty-seven-year-old woman living in New York City, and I cannot find a decent guy. See if our Staff Assistance Program can handle that.

To: You (you)

From: Human Resources (human.resources@thenyjournal.com)

Subject: This Book

Dear Reader,

This is an automated message from the Human Resources Division of the New York Journal, New York City's leading photo-newspaper. Please be aware that according to our records you have not yet read this book.
What exactly are you waiting for? This book has it all:

• Humor
• Romance
• Cooking tips
• Great Danes
• Heroine in peril
• Dolphin-shaped driftwood sculptures

If you wish to read about any of the above, please do not hesitate to head to the checkout counter, where you will be paired with a sales associate who will work to help you buy this book.

We here at the New York Journal are a team. We win as a team, and lose as one as well. Don't you want to be on the winning team?

Sincerely,

Human Resources Division

New York Journal

Please note that failure to read this book may result in suspension or dismissal from this store.