In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingtoù made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predictùwith more than 90 percent accuracyùwhether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions.

What emerged from the GottmansÆ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice thatÆs based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problemsùextramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacyùand examine what theyÆve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.

Giving an insiderÆs view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couplesÆ conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couplesÆ interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By ôlisteningö to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship andùmost importantùhow to avoid them.

Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the GottmansÆ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one thatÆs headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.


From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the ôLove Labö: ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriage

ôWe donÆt feel close anymore.ö

ôYou never talk to me.ö

ôWe only have time for the kids.ö

ôAll you do is work.ö

ôYou donÆt care about my dreams.ö

Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldnÆt be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problemsùbut what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties donÆt have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce.

In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital toolsùscientifically based and empirically verifiedùthat you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. YouÆll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.


From the Hardcover edition.